Marriage Counseling Wisdom 

Many young people who sin fornication by having sex before they marry, place a curse on their future relationship and married life. Unless repented of and Delivered from, this curse is passed on to the children of the marriage and will eventually, damage their future relationships with each other leading to a spirit of Estrangement and Divorce, (Deut 28:15) in addition to being deprived of the eternal Kingdom of Heaven. Galatians 5:19-21. It is sad that most young people today in American society will not know the God blessed indescribable joy and blessings from God by remaining virgins until they marry in a marriage that is joined by God. However, all is not lost for those who have sinned by committing fornication before marriage. There is a way to be cleansed of past sexual sins and start anew to become Spiritual virgins with a happy and God Sanctioned marriage.    

The only sure way of having a wonderful and happy life-long marriage is for both the engaged man and woman to believe and obey the Word of God found in the Holy Christian Bible, not only in the marriage but most importantly, even before they take their vows for each other. It was God who instituted the marriage bond when he created Eve from the rib of Adam and told them to procreate. It was God then who instilled the laws of a marriage contract through the Old Testament laws. " . . . but for Adam, there was not found a helpmeet (a helper) for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Genesis 2: 20-25. Interesting to note this last verse, they were both naked, and they were not ashamed, meaning they were transparent to each other; there was no hidden sin in their lives. The reason they were not ashamed is that Eve had not yet committed the sin of disobedience by eating the forbidden "fruit." Unrepentant Sin brings shame and curses by rebelling against God's Word not to eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and evil, just as when a couple commits unlawful sex, which is fornication by having sexual relations before they take their vows before witnesses that God has joined them together. God does not bless sin, and as a consequence, God does not bless their marriage. Unless repented of and put under the shed blood of Jesus Christ, the marriage is doomed to failure. One way or the other and if children in the marriage also suffer the consequences. 

At Seventy-seven years old, I can give first-hand testimony that obeying God's Word brings His blessings, but disobedience to God's word bring curses, especially in marriage relationships.  

I have a marriage, my third, that was made here on earth but engineered in heaven and approved by God because in the Lord, We, my wife, Ruth, and I finally got it

right.

I was born into dysfunction in 1942. My parents separated in 1945 and finally divorced in 1968. Custody of my older sister and me was manipulated from my mother with lies and false witnesses. I lived with my father and sister, who was nine years older. We lived with my aunt, uncle, and my cousin until I was 10 years old. Though my aunt's home was dysfunctional because my father and my aunt were both alcoholics, it was still some semblance of family life. When my aunt, whose personality was [simialr to Cinderella's wicked step-mother became abusive to my 19-year-old sister, my father decided to leave and go out on his/our own. We moved into a small 2nd-floor apartment in September 1952. This was a very traumatic time for me in this whole new environment. I left the security of my old school and friends that I grew up with and all of the familiar activities that I missed. After six months, in March of 1953, we moved again to which at that time, were exclusive apartments in a suburb in North Baltimore at $105.00 per month Exclusive at that time was a two-bedroom large, casement window apartment with no AC but it did have a garbage disposal. The residents at this complex were upper middle income, some of which were Oriole baseball players from the International League and eventually the major league Orioles and even a doctor from Johns Hopkins Hospital.  

My father and sister both worked at the Chevrolet plant so from age 10 to 18, I left an empty apartment in the morning and came home to an empty apartment after school. My dad had an excellent paying job as white-collar parts supervisor at the local Chevrolet Plant. He liked his women and his booze and his camel cigarettes. When he was home he did not talk much to me and used to drink himself to sleep starting about 7:00 pm. Though he could drive a brand new Chevrolet company car every year, he didn't drive. I never knew why but I believe it had to do with his drinking., He had a steady girlfriend, who he spent every weekend with starting Friday evening and he would come home in a cab on Monday morning to meet his rider, his boss the plant manager to take him to work, possibly giving his boss the impression that he was home all weekend. In those days, divorce was frowned upon and General Motors has a policy that not to many divorced men were promoted to the home office in Detroit. So, for the most part, my sister was the only person I could rely on for some type of parental example. My childhood traumatized me. I was very lonely most of the time. My only example of a functional family was the Ozzie and Harriet show that came on Friday nights. They were my family only I was not included in their relationships but they were included in mine. The only problem was that I only had access to them in my make-believe family for a half-hour on Friday nights. The rest of the time was wanting for a family, mother father, a relationship that I never personally knew. I saw it in some of my friends' families who had functional relationships. God bless those compassionate parents of my friends who knew my plight and went to extra lengths to care for me when I would occasionally stay overnight at their house. I did not realize then how compassionate they were until I matured into adulthood an looked back at my early childhood. It is hard for

me to describe the gut-wrenching loneliness that I experienced back then and how it seemed that I had to make it on my own. This hunger to be loved, accepted and cared for by a real parent that saw in my friends parents gradually turned into a spirit of lamentation and anger. I was angry and hurt that I was pretty much abandoned to be on my own and not have at least the on the scene comforting of the love of one parent. When I was hurt physically or emotionally, there was no parent to comfort me. Yes, there was my sister, but how does a working 19-year old know how to minister to a 10-year-old? I was never in a household to see my mother and father hug each other or saw them together for any period of time. How can you convince others of your lamentations when you had no basis for a loving father, mother family relationship? How can you describe something that you have not experienced? How can you cry for help with the pain when you do not know where the pain originates? From the time I was 10 to the time I was 18, I left an empty house to go to school and came home to an empty house after school. So what did I do? I turned on the TV and watched the Mickey Mouse Club or some other afternoon TV show to add peoples voices in our apartment. I was an emotional basket case. There was not much caring love or discipline in my life. I went from a grade-A Catholic elementary school student to just passing in High School. I knew what it was like to have teachers give an undeserved passing grade just to get rid of you. I was also bullied in High School. I got

cold-cocked in my first week in High School.     

To be continued